The entrants were really good this time, so good that I had to actually weigh up the 'pros' of doing each one, 2 in particular I spent some time thinking along the lines of, "Yeah but if I do this, that'd be genius...but the other one is so good too.....what if...? Um... But I HAVE to include that!" The two I had such a hard time over were Silverfox's and Lumli's because I both really liked them but had no idea which one to do because they're both so different where Chris is concerned, anyway.
In the end I went for Lumli's because I could see it containing more things that would be funny/shocking. But I didn't want to leave the 'everyone's entitled to other friends' bit out, so I took a bit of Silverfox's idea and decided that I should keep that in but someone other than Chris should do it. You'll find out who obviously when you read on.
So yes, winnar is Lumli with credit to both Silverfox and NEONrobot [for first coming up with the stalker idea].
Onwards:
Mighty Boosh story pt. 5
As soon as Vince shut the door on Howard and his leech, he sat on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands with a sigh. He wasn't crying, he refused to cry, that would be a sign of weakness. He wiped his nose and went over things in his head that were crawling over each other like blind newborn puppies. He had been through so much over the past day (wow, had it really only been a day?) that he didn't know where to begin.
Tony was well out of the picture now and Vince was sorry that he had offered him that KitKat finger on the bus that he found in his jacket pocket because that's how him and Vince had started. Vince had never damned chocolate or sweets of any kind in his life but he was now.
And now Howard was way too involved in Chris to care about him anymore and it hurt, like finding out your TopShop voucher was a day out of date but you endured the stingy tube that was way too hot, the crowds of Oxford Street and a man trying to bum you in the crowd because he thought no one would notice...just to go to TopShop. It hurt.
Suddenly he heard a knock on his door.
"Vince, it's Howard, let me in?"
"Piss off, Howard!!" Vince shouted, hurling a stuffed kangaroo at the door that he picked up from the floor even though he knew it wouldn't do anything.
"I want to come and talk to you, I want to explain...."
"It's too late Howard, please, just leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you!"
*
Howard leaned his head up against Vince's door in defeat and looked sideways at Chris.
"He'll come round," Chris said. "Give him some time, yeah?"
"Yeah..." Howard said with a sigh.
"Come on, your tea's getting cold," Chris smiled.
*
Vince could feel himself start to cry again and he sniffed those emotions up and turned it into anger again, grabbing all the important things he could find and putting them on his bed; he was going to leave. Just as he was about to grab his straighteners, he caught a glimpse of his hair in the mirror, fluffed it up a bit and pulled a face of disgust - he needed to straighten his hair after he got all the other stuff together, it looked awful and threatened to frizz; he hated frizz more than....well, most things, apart from Chris.
"Argh, what a twat," Vince mumbled as he thought of Chris and put his cowboy boots on the bed before heading towards his wardrobe. He looked at the amount of clothes and his jaw dropped. "When did I get this many? Do I sleepwalk to TopShop or something?" Vince pondered out loud before only grabbing the most important tops and drainpipes and deciding to come back for the rest at a later date.
*
"I've never seen Vince that angry," Howard said as small tears slid into his mug of tea as he drank. "His eyes..." he tried to explain to Chris with a hand movement, "his eyes are usually so full of life, so bright, but I saw nothing in them when he went into his room, like someone else had taken over him."
"Do you want me to go so you can sort it out with him?" Chris asked, twisting his mouth into a depressed smile while raising his eyebrows.
"No," Howard said looking at him. "You're helping," he smiled, raising his mug at him. "Not just with tea though....you know what I mean."
"Yeah," Chris smiled as he sat next to Howard and looked at their forgotten Scrabble game to see that Howard had replaced the 'W' in 'WINCE'.
"This is all my fault," Howard said, looking down at his reflection on the tea's liquidy surface. "If I hadn't of left him when he was getting ready--"
"Don't blame yourself, Howard. No one could have predicted that something like that would turn into something like this; it was just bad luck, it was bad luck's fault, okay?" he consoled, putting his arm around Howard and rubbing his shoulder to try and make him feel better.
"I love him, Chris," Howard said, looking at Chris instead of the tea this time. "I hate seeing him like this, you don't know what he's usually like, he's nothing like this!"
"I know," Chris said.
"How did you...?"
"....I can just tell," Chris replied. "The way you are with him, it's obvious, Howard," he smiled.
Howard then heard the bell above the shop door ring and he looked back towards the stairs in confusion. "That can't be a customer already," Howard said, looking at the clock above the small fireplace - nearly 7am.
Footsteps came slowly up the stairs accompanied with laughing and 'shhh'ing. "Bollo, shut up, Vince and Howard are asleep," came a familiar voice.
"Who's that?" Chris asked, craning his neck at the stairs with a confused look on his face.
"That's just Naboo and Bollo, Naboo owns the shop," Howard explained.
"Howard? What you doing up?" Bollo asked as Chris screamed.
"...Oh, and Bollo's an ape," Howard added.
"What's going on here?" Naboo asked as Bollo went to his room, no longer caring why Howard was up or who he was with.
Howard then proceeded to tell Naboo the whole thing, from when he had first left him after he had been taking too long to get ready, what happened in the club and why he was now here with a stranger at 7am, weeping into a mug of tea.
"You're both idiots," Naboo replied after he had finished. "Am I going to have to sort this out again?" he sighed.
"No, just leave it Naboo..." Howard said, sniffing and finishing off the rest of his tea.
"Everyone knows when you say that, you want some help," Naboo decoded with minimal effort. "Right, Vince is in his room, yeah?"
Howard nodded.
"Right," Naboo said, heading towards Vince's room.
"What about the shop?" Howard asked, realising that it usually took ages to get Vince to come round, that man could hold a grudge.
"It won't take long. I can't have my best employee in this state."
"Thanks, Naboo," Howard said with a smile and another sniff.
"Not you, shrimp eyes, I mean Vince; he's probably in a right state."
"Yeah, thanks a lot," Howard said flatly.
Naboo then knocked on Vince's door. "Vince can I come in, it's Naboo."
"I'm not decent!" Vince shouted back with a slight break in his voice.
Naboo opened the door and then closed it behind him.
"Oi, are you deaf??" Vince shrieked.
"Everyone knows when you say you're not decent that you've just not done your hair, it isn't a big deal," Naboo said, walking over to Vince and sitting down on the edge of his bed.
"It is to me!" Vince replied defensively as he tried to fluff his hair up to make it look nicer. "I've been out all night, my hair needs some serious straightening action in a bit," he said, plugging the silver straighteners into the wall socket.
"What's all this?" Naboo asked, looking back on the bed and realising it was covered in various cowboy hats and a few of Vince's clothes.
"I'm leaving, alright?" Vince explained, chucking another top onto the pile.
"Vince, stop that and listen to me for a bit, I need to talk to you."
"Alright!" Vince sighed. "But be quick, yeah? My hair's not really in a good mood," he said, sitting next to Naboo. "What is it?" he asked, leaning in towards him like a child sharing a secret with a BFFL.
"It's about Howard."
"Oh what now?" Vince asked, leaning his elbow on his knee and resting his chin on his hand with eyebrows raised.
"You need to sort it out," Naboo said. "You let little things get to you all the time."
"No I don't!" Vince said.
Naboo looked at Vince's hair then back at Vince with one raised eyebrow.
"What? That's my hair, it's different, you know that, Naboo."
"Howard told me how this all started. All he did was not wait for you, that's nothing huge."
"It is when he goes off with some other guy and ignores me!"
"Didn't you do that too? Before Howard, even."
Vince fidgeted and looked away from Naboo to the floor. "....Well he shouldn't have left me then."
"See? And now we're back to square one."
"Well what would you think if someone you thought was gonna wait, leaves?? I thought he'd gone off me, he always waits for me."
"You need to stop relying on people, Vince; and you know Howard loves you. You're spoiled and you don't see it, everyone's always done everything for you; you don't even have to try hard to get into backstage parties anymore because people always think you're famous and give you free stuff."
"It isn't my fault that I look like this!" Vince exclaimed.
"You just need to stop relying on people and realise that if you're gonna go off with someone then Howard isn't going to wait for you again. He's allowed other friends too, Vince."
Vince thought about what Naboo said and suddenly it all clicked - it was Vince that had been the twat to start off with.
"I might have been a BIT hasty," Vince confessed.
"So tell him how you feel," Naboo said. "He's out there feeling sorry for himself because all he wants to do is make you happy."
"Shit," Vince said, biting his lip. "Alright I will, but can I straighten my hair first?"
Naboo sighed with a smile. "Fine..."
Twenty minutes after Vince had straightened his hair and changed his clothes, he opened his door slowly and the first thing he saw was Howard. He walked over to him with his head slightly down as he played with the small buckle on his wrist cuff and Howard stood up and also walked towards Vince.
"I'm sorry," Vince said, "I've been a dick."
"That's okay, little man," Howard replied, hugging Vince, and this time Vince hugged him back, almost clinging onto him like a koala bear to a tree trunk.
"....And you," Vince struggled to say as he turned to Chris. "Sorry for thinking you were trying to steal Howard, it's the glasses, you know? I don't trust people with glasses."
"That's okay," Chris smiled.
Vince walked over to Chris to give him a hug too but as he went, he tripped over something and nearly fell. He looked down and realised a brown leather messenger bag had been slightly open by the sofa and a few things had fallen out.
"Shit, sorry," Vince said, kneeling down to pick them up.
As he was putting them back in the bag, he looked at them properly and realised that they were mostly pictures of Howard.
"Wait, I can get that!" Chris said, rushing over to Vince.
"Is this your bag? ...Why are there pictures of Howard in it?" Vince asked slowly like a naive child.
"What?" Naboo and Howard said at the same time.
"Wait, don't touch anything, I want to see," Vince said to Chris.
"It's nothing, don't worry, I have to go now anyway so can I have them back?" Chris said quickly.
"'15/2/08, 14:06 - Howard goes into Tesco's. 14.13 - Howard comes out with a baguette.'?" Vince read, confused.
"How did you know I went to Tesco's?" Howard asked as he leaned down to look at what Vince was reading.
"You're a stalker!!" Vince figured out, as fast as his brain cell could muster. "That's sick! There's stuff from like five years back here, look! ' 23/06/04 - Howard gets on the 27 bus.... 20/12/06 - Howard goes xmas shopping with Vince.'!" Vince shrieked and threw the papers down as he saw his name mentioned.
"Wait, I can explain! It's a....sociology experiment! A covert investigation on everyday activities, I couldn't reveal myself or it'd spoil it!"
"I don't think you need naked pictures of Howard for a psychology test!" Vince said, eyes widening at a new picture.
"Sociology," Chris corrected.
"Yeah, not helping!" Naboo said.
"Get out," Howard said as Chris looked up at him from the floor where he was trying to gather the papers together in case Vince saw something else he wasn't meant to see.
"Howard, I thought you'd be honoured!" Chris replied.
"Honoured to have a stalker? Wow, you're insane, and I'm calling the police," Vince said, getting up and heading towards the phone.
"Howard! Don't you even like it just a little bit? You love attention, Howard...Vince never gave it to you and now you have it, now you have me!" he said taking Howard arm and grabbing onto it.
"No one touches Howard," Vince said, dropping the phone receiver and running at Chris, punching him right in the nose and jumping on him as he lay on the floor bleeding. "You're never touching Howard again!" Vince said, punching and scratching Chris as he tried to fight back but failed.
Naboo pulled Vince off of Chris as Vince kicked his feet and tried to lunge for Chris again. "Naboo, he's fucking insane!" Vince shouted.
"I think you should leave," Howard said, holding out the bag to Chris.
"Howard...!" Chris replied.
"Bollo!" Naboo shouted.
Bollo then dashed out of his room and looked at Naboo questioningly.
"Get this guy out," Naboo directed.
"No!!" Chris screamed, trying to grab Howard's leg again and being dragged away by Bollo.
After Chris had been literally thrown out by Bollo, Howard ran at Vince and hugged him again. "I'm sorry!" Howard cried. "I shouldn't have gone off with him!"
"No, I'm sorry, it's me that's sorry!"
"I think I'm gong to be sick," Bollo said in disgust as he went back to his room.
"Get a room, will ya?" Naboo said with a smile as he followed Bollo.
Vince then pressed his lips hard against Howard's and held him closer to him.
"What was that for??" Howard laughed in shock.
"For always being there for me," Vince explained. "That was the first time in ten years that you've not waited for me or always been at my side and it's taken you that long to finally break away and I love that. I just reacted badly, sor--"
Howard put a finger to Vince's lips. "Say 'sorry' again and I will come at you like you came at Chris," he smiled.
"That WAS pretty good, wasn't it?" Vince smiled vainly.
"I can't believe you did all that for me, no one's virtually tried to kill someone for me before."
"Well, you know...you mean a lot to me, Howard," Vince said.
"And you mean a lot to me too," Howard said, smiling and hugging Vince again.
Now I think that's the end but if anyone has any other ideas to continue it then by all means, tell me! I'm going to probably do another Mighty Boosh story like this really soon because I really liked doing this. Oh and a Horrors one for the Horrors fans among you because I love them too and have got their personalities more secured in my head now. 
Also, the line, "No, I'm sorry, it's me that's sorry!", was actually a mistake and I didn't mean to say 'sorry' twice but Howard telling Vince to stop saying sorry sort of made it work so I kept it!
Seriously though, thanks to everyone that contributed, it turned out better than I thought! 
I loved that
What a brilliant ending
I reckon you should do a horrors one, that'd be really awesome...