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I want a girlfriend
by STiCKs13 @ 02 Apr. 2008 - 15:03:12

No, this isn't a plee for one or something silly, so get away if you think it is...go on, get awaii! Homophobes can get right out too.

Basically, I've been thinking about this a lot since my last relationship and I might never get a chance to have a girlfriend ever. This isn't one of those 'I'm straight but wanna see what it's like from the other side' things...if those things even exist, which they do. Shut up, I can make sense...

I have never had a relationship with a girl or gone beyond a kiss but because I'm more comfortable with picking up guys, that's what I'm likely to be doing for a long time and all I wanna do is see what it would be like to be with a girl. In my last relationship, I wasn't allowed to do anything apart from kissing with girls (which, let's face it...the guy was entitled to that rule) and in a way I thought, if that relationship were to be a long-term thing then I would never get to experience that for ages and it would be a bit restricting,

I only want it because I only properly admitted to myself that I was into girls when I was 16 and for all those years it's sort of been pent-up frustration because I wouldn't admit it to myself and now that I have, I want to explore.

I want to try and explain myself more because I know what a lot of you could be thinking:

She's doing this for attention
She's fucking about
I'm convinced she's straight but just wants a bit of fun
She's bored

All of those are false.

I wasn't even gonna blog this but I've not had much to blog about recently and am more reluctant to blog when I don't have my precious laptop...

I watched this documentary on BBC 3 about this woman wanting to see what it was like to be a lesbian, but she was stright. It kinda made me want a girlfriend more actually, but it was really interesting. It explored the idea that all women can have lesbian feelings and I agreed. I kind of want it to be like the documentary but with me actually being bisexual, not straight like she was.

I wanna see how much into girls I really am and to see what it's like to be with a girl because if I never ever get to experience that, I'd feel like I've missed out on something I could have really liked. I just don't wanna lose that opportunity, you know?

Oh and this doesn't mean I'm giving up on guys or don't want a boyfriend next, I'm just saying it'd be pretty awesome to have a girlfriend for a change.

...Goth girls and girls that are rockers are hot.

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Tags: lesbian, life, sexuality,

 
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the_real_lindathe_real_linda [Member]
http://the-real-linda.blog.co.uk/
02/04/08 @ 15:18

good for you, why not explore... you could be a hasbian on day or a guestbian... lol

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:20

What are those? :p

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the_real_lindathe_real_linda [Member]
http://the-real-linda.blog.co.uk/
02/04/08 @ 20:07

guestbian, just trying it out

hasbian, used to be one

LOL!

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STARskaiSTARskai [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:13

I saw this documentry. I understand what your saying and have felt the same way at times.
I shouldnt think people would think your only doing it for attention or just want some fun, just because your relationships with girls havent been a serious with guys doesnt mean your any less 'into them'. Its more just chance that that has happened.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:23

Yeah! That and I'm much shyer around girls and kind of want them to make the first move first... Also I didn't even consider dating a girl for ages! Even thinking of holding hands or snogging in public with a girl would make me feel nervous, but now I do it all the time with mates and girls I've been into. ^_^

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STARskaiSTARskai [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:40

I hate keep saying i understand becuas it makes me sound like a counsellor [i hate counsellors ¬_¬], but again i get what you mean
I first realised i was into girls aswell when i was about 15/16 but I never thought of having a real relationship like i would with a guy because of people like homophobes ect. It wasnt until my first girlfriend that I realised i shouldnt care really. And it was me who made the first move, which i was so scared about as id never been with a girl before :S
my advice, if you decide to take it, would be just to go for it. Make the first move and see what happens, because you never know ;)

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:47

Awesome, cheers! :D I knew I liked looking at girls since about year 2 actually but just thought I was being a perv and never told anyone anything about it.

But as time goes by, I want a girlfriend more and more!

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STARskaiSTARskai [Member]
02/04/08 @ 16:51

no problem.
you'll find one. :D

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:02

I bet ANYTHING I find a guy before I find a girl. It's unfortunately inevitable, specially with all the gigs I go to it's easier to pick up guys.

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STARskaiSTARskai [Member]
02/04/08 @ 18:52

it bound to happen
or if you were wanting a boyfriend you'd get a girlfriend
lifes a bitch :)

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Alicia3000Alicia3000 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:18

Just go for it but avoid sticking fruit down your knickers.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:21

Hahaaaa!! *hides rather large satsuma*

That won't be happening, I'm one of those girly lesbians. :p Can I call myself a lesbian? I'm not but I can't explain it any other way. I guess I am a lesbian though, but I'm also straight. You can't be a half-lesbian though, can you? That's silly.

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Alicia3000Alicia3000 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:23

Your a bisexual lipstick lesbian make it into a badge and wear it proud.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:30

I'm not THAT girly. :p Make-up beyond eyeliner I rarely do.

But frills and bows are alright. ^_^

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Alicia3000Alicia3000 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:36

Fine your a bisexual frilly frilly bows and sparkles lesbian now make that into a badge.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
02/04/08 @ 17:51

SPRAKLES!! ^__^

I am getting too girly here... Stop encouraging me.

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smoky [Visitor]

03/04/08 @ 06:48

I say go for it :D
I don't even know what i like yet...
I think I'm one of those confused teenagers :p
But anyway, if anyone disapproves, who cares.
It's your life.
xxx

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
03/04/08 @ 12:38

*sings No Doubt's 'It's My Life'* Actually, I'm gonna play it too, I love that song.

But yeah, you're right. To be honest, above most things, I'm worried about what I'm gonna do if I get one and have to actually come out properly cause it's kinda hard to hide a girlfriend and I wouldn't really want to hide her anyway. Family mainly, mates I'm not bothered about, most of them know anyway.

x

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smoky [Visitor]

03/04/08 @ 22:16

Just bring her home one day.
Or just kind of casually say it to people.
That way it's not such a big deal.
Although it would be quite fun to be dramatic about it :D
How are your family with bisexuality?
Are they cool with it???

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
04/04/08 @ 13:30

Not ever asked about bisexuality actually but I guess it would be viewed as the same as being gay...

I did confront my mum one time with why I'm not allowed guys in my room to sleep round [I get away with that way too much anyway so it's a useless rule], but why I'm allowed girls, as a sort of passing comment. She went, "Haha, what, do you like girls??" and I was like, "...Haha, um, no?" I keep trying to hint to people but don't know if they get it.

Drama would be genius though, specially if drunk. :D I'm more introverted than that though so I'd probably just bring her home like you said and not make it a big deal.

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LiiL0LionessLiiL0Lioness [Member]
03/04/08 @ 13:01

I can understand why you're reluctant to make the first move, but my advice would be to go for it. You'll probably regret it, if not.

Just go for it even if you get turned down, you'll be able to say, "I overcame my shadow and was able to do things I never thought I could."

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
03/04/08 @ 13:37

I'll be more likely to approach people if drunk and horny, as usual. :p That's how most of my girl kisses happen....

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Natalie [Visitor]

03/04/08 @ 13:31

No, you can't have one! I bought you one for Christmas and you never used it!

Sorry, I just felt perversely like being stupid seeing as everybody else has been so supportive. As if that's a bad thing.

Seriously, go for it. I'm not completely straight either, tending to bend towards girls. Which you would think would scare them off.

Do you think your family would mind? Surely they would want you to be happy? Hmm, my family found out because someone I knew (a girl) kissed me right in front of my brothers. Possibly not recommending that. Or possibly am.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
03/04/08 @ 13:41

Not sure if they'd mind, or rather...how MUCH they'd mind. I know a fair few of them are religious [not hardcore religious or anything] and I once got into an arguement with my sister about how homosexuals are okay when I called her son gay AS A JOKE.

Her kids are also against gays, so's my mum and my brother is badly. =/ He doesn't even like men behaving in a feminine way, I guess he feels the same about lesbians but not asked..

I only know one cousin who I told when drunk that I was into girls won't mind because she's asked me a couple of times if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet and didn't seem phased, which I loved. :)

Whatever...what happens happens. =/

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JadeVonGrimmJadeVonGrimm [Member]
03/04/08 @ 20:50

Aww, I can see exactly where you're coming from.
I'd be your girlfriend if you didn't live so far away!
Hehe.
:DD

x

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
04/04/08 @ 13:31

That's comforting, thanks. :D That wasn't meant in a sarcastic way either.

x

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JadeVonGrimmJadeVonGrimm [Member]
04/04/08 @ 19:18

Yay.
That's good to know.
:)

You got msn?

x

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
06/04/08 @ 17:47

Didn't I add you on MSN ages ago?? :p If not, I do, yes: mighty_boosh_kitty13@hotmail.co.uk

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JadeVonGrimmJadeVonGrimm [Member]
08/04/08 @ 18:11

I gave you my email, but people adding me doesn't always work, it's annoying.
:|

x

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erin! [Visitor]

03/04/08 @ 22:34

i know eeeeeexactly how you feel. i could ramble on about it all day, but i won't. or i'll wait for you to fix your laptop and we can both ramble about it :P

also, LONDON, BABY. 195 days, assuming everything works out the way i'm planning it. get excited.

luff yew.

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erin! [Visitor]

03/04/08 @ 22:39

ps. punch josh in the cock for me.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
04/04/08 @ 13:32

:D :D :D

I wanna see you now! Now! :(

NOW.

Oh yeah, did you like the story then?? ^_^

x

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erin! [Visitor]

04/04/08 @ 14:22

195 days isn't a very long time! but if you insist on seeing me now, COME TO CANADA. we'll eat poutine and watch Video On Trial and do other canadian things that i haven't thought up yet. you know you wanna ;D

i did! it was excellent!

be online at the same time as me for a change :\

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
06/04/08 @ 17:41

I'm online now, damn it! You'll come online in a bit...hopefully.

*swims ocean to canada*

Is it weird that I think about you every day? I miss the talks. =[

x

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erin! [Visitor]

06/04/08 @ 22:02

i'm online now! are you?

and i hope it's not weird, or else i'm just as weird as you are. i miss you

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erin! [Visitor]

06/04/08 @ 22:10

ps. there was supposed to be a heart at the end of that, but your blog hates me.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
08/04/08 @ 17:19

I have bad news. ;__;

We went to the computer shop today and they said it's so bad that it'll cost like £400 or something silly and we have to contact other companies to see if they'll honour the warrenty and make it cheaper because it only ran out like last month...SO IT'LL BE EVEN BLOODY LONGER TIL I GET REGULAR INTERNET ACCESS!!

I wanna speak to you NOW!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I wrote a follow up to that Horrors story because I wanted more Rhys/Josh and couldn't resist...

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erin! [Visitor]

08/04/08 @ 17:47

please let this be a joke '-_- i miss you ridiculously.

you should just come to canada, the flight both ways will cost about the same as getting your laptop fixed.

i hate shorty-link.

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STiCKs13STiCKs13 [Member]
08/04/08 @ 17:56

I will make it my duty to get my laptop back as soon as possible! *salutes*

And I thought exactly about the Canada cost and the laptop repair cost. :p

Grrrrr, miss you like actual hell!

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erin [Visitor]

08/04/08 @ 18:09

screw the laptop, move to canada! i miss you far too much.

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