I have a date in 12 hours, how cool is that? He's called Benji, he's 29 [looks about 25 though, for seriooous] and he looks like Anthony Kiedis...it isn't even just me, he said he's heard he looks like Anthony quite a few times, which made it seem less like I was just into Anthony Kiedis too much [I like me a bit o' Kiedis]. ANYWAY!

I met him Friday night when I went to Powers in Kilburn, they do a free night called No Fiction every Friday and I went to see a mate DJ.

Anyway, it gets to like maybe something past 11 and I see him standing by the DJ booth for a bit and I'm alone on my table cause people went home and my friend was socialising with other people on another table. We look at each other and my immediate thought is '...that guy looks like Anthony Kiedis!' so my face lights up. He comes over and has a talk with me and asks if he can sit, I say yes.

We talk for what must be an hour cause I had to leave at half 12ish. Before we left, I also asked if I could take a picture of him because he looked like Anthony Kiedis [I probably wouldn't have done this had I been 100% sober cause...it's fucking weird, isn't it?]. He agrees but the stipulation is that I have to give him my number, so I also agree to this.

He is hesitant for a bit and goes a bit shy, refuses to pose and insists I must capture him off-guard, which is cool cause I like pictures like that. He also tells me not to put it on the internet...so I'm not gonna post what he looks like but look up young Anthony Kiedis in the By The Way/Californication times and you've basically got him anyways! [I don't think he likes me comparing him to Anthony all the time so I've stopped...but, the similarity was just too weird].

Anyway, he goes out for a fag and asks if I want to join him outside, so I do. When he finishes, I say I have to get going and he offers to "escort" me to the tube station.

Now, I'm the type of girl that will usually want to snog someone I find really attractive but in all honesty, the thought that I might kiss him never really crossed my mind cause he was just being friendly and like...didn't seem like he was trying to pull me at all. Rather, he seemed gentlemanly instead of the typical older bloke that will ask for your number and drool all over you, looking like an absolute pervert that keeps trying to touch your leg and stuff. One of these types tried to hold my hands once and I nearly cried.

Anyway, after he walks me to the station, only then do I think, 'shit, what is this? Like...does he like me? Are we gonna kiss, hug, or do an awkward European kiss?' I think all three happened, but mainly the kiss.

We left each other and the last thing he said was, "Call me...or maybe I'll call you!"

I felt all happy and stuff but thought it was unlikely that he'd call because...guys are usually like that and just say it to keep a girl happy, right? Well, the typical guy does that but he doesn't seem typical, and I didn't feel perved on the entire time like I usually do with stranger guys.

I thought on the way home that it was just gonna be a fling or that I'd probably never see him again, that was before I got his number of course. However, I thought it was definitely gonna be a fling until he actually phoned and started being really sweet and saying we had stuff in common and being really fucking cute. I still don't really know what he wants, or even what I want...

I know he likes me but...not how much. Like, I wouldn't mind either way how much he likes me, I'm just concerned about myself cause I love love love being single but the tease of a relationship always lingers about and I start to think 'what if...?' which is sometimes bad cause I get carried away and either get hurt or TOO much into a relationship.

My longest and most fun relationship has lasted all of 4 months and the sad truth is, it was probably based mainly on lust. I loved it though cause I had a ton of fun and experienced new things.

I am the type that will ask you out and it doesn't even matter how long I know you but I'll ask you out and get interested as hell for maybe a month, 2 if you're bloody good. Then I start getting bored and don't really think of cheating, but I just...get bored! Like you're my favourite outfit I've worn for bloody ages and even though it's still pa-retty good, it gets boring.

Right now, I'm in the mode where I wouldn't mind going out with Benji [and being 100% honest, the 10 year age gap bothers me a lot less than you'd think] but I KNOW at some point I'll not want to be in the relationship anymore and I may end up hurting myself or he may hurt me by accident.

I didn't even think of dating him at all til he phoned and still have no idea what I'm gonna do. I think I'd prefer to stay single but I also wanna see him...

His birthday is next month and he said maybe I could celebrate with him, which was rather nice, unless I hate him by then, he said.. I told him I couldn't hate him.

Know what makes me feel awesome? That for once I'm not the one that's blatantly more interested.

Know what's exciting? He's an older guy! I've never had an 'older guy' before! He may have even been the oldest guy I've kissed! Oh no no now it sounds like he's OLD old.

This sounds like a story, doesn't it? Imagine if I just invented all of that...how would you even know? There is no picture proof. =P